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A Woman is No Man

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A Woman is No Man by Etaf Rum

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By Etaf Rum

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1 review

A New York Times bestseller • A Washington Post 10 Books to Read in March • One of Cosmopolitan’s Best Books by POC for 2019 • A Refinery 29 Best Book of the Month

‘A gripping book. It’s beautiful and very sad … The feelings are intense, and raw … It’s a necessary story, brilliantly told’ Reader review, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ ‘Etaf I cannot express my gratitude, love and respect for you enough for A Woman is NO Man’ Reader review, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ ‘Loved this book. Educational, emotive, sad, how many adjectives can I use. Highly recommended’ Reader review, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ ‘This book is just amazing, an eye opener on the lives and struggles of so many people. A world unknown to many of us … A ‘must read’ that I will certainly re-read’ Reader review, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
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Three generations of Palestinian-American women living in Brooklyn are torn between individual desire and the strict mores of Arab culture in this heart-wrenching story of love, intrigue and courage. Palestine, 1990. Seventeen-year-old Isra prefers reading books to entertaining the suitors her father has chosen for her. Over the course of a week, the naïve and dreamy girl finds herself quickly betrothed and married, and is soon living in Brooklyn. There Isra struggles to adapt to the expectations of her oppressive mother-in-law Fareeda and strange new husband Adam, a pressure that intensifies as she begins to have children – four daughters instead of the sons Fareeda tells Isra she must bear. Brooklyn, 2008. Eighteen-year-old Deya, Isra’s oldest daughter, must meet with potential husbands at her grandmother Fareeda’s insistence, though her only desire is to go to college. But her grandmother is firm on the matter: the only way to secure a worthy future for Deya is through marriage to the right man. But fate has a will of its own, and soon Deya will find herself on an unexpected path that leads her to shocking truths about her family… Set in an America at once foreign to many and staggeringly close at hand, A Woman Is No Man is a story of culture and honour, secrets and betrayals, love and violence. It is an intimate glimpse into a controlling and closed cultural world, and a universal tale about family and the ways silence and shame can destroy those we have sworn to protect.
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Praise for Etaf Rum ‘A love letter to storytelling’New York Times ‘A nuanced look at the power of shame to shatter lives and send shards of pain hurtling down the generations … brilliant’Big Issue ‘Enthralling’ Image magazine

Reviews

02 Aug 2023

Thereadingarmy

An excellent read delving into what first seems issues confined to particular cultures but before too long one realises the issues are more universal only that in some they are hidden and not talked about
Together we cried for the girls who grew up trying to piece their lives together and their attempt at making sense of their childhood imagining good memories for themselves. We cried for the women in the story and those that we knew in real life who endured and indeed endure endless trauma on a daily basis trapped by their own families and communities with no way out. The book wasn't just about the Palestinian communities but is applicable to so many more, more than you'd think whether it be in the form of forced marriages or domestic violence or the treatment of women as objects.
We would have liked to have heard from the men in the story especially Adam, after all he was also voiceless but that wasn't the point of the book at all was it?
The ending although not a completely happy one was full of hope for Deya but again we felt a bit cheated out of not knowing what happened with the characters in particular Sarah. We did feel the book to be a little repetitive and the characters a little underdeveloped however it was a necessary story that needed telling
The discussions could have gone on forever. The book hit some of us much harder than others.
Nonetheless I'm glad we got to read it.

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